(no subject)

[decemberthirty]

I have the urge today to wander all over the city, swim in the snotgreen sea, buy a cake of lemon-scented soap, make inappropriate comments about God to my employer, eat with relish the inner organs of beasts and fowls, exchange secret love letters under a pseudonym, attend an acquaintance's funeral, be cuckolded by a smarmy singer, give an inadvertent tip on a racehorse, espouse mad theories about Shakespeare in the library, watch a lovely young girl expose herself to me on the strand, think about my dead father and dead son, get assaulted by a one-eyed bigot in a pub, fly like a shot off a shovel, be whispered about and insulted everywhere I go, break a lamp with an ash plant in a nightmarish whorehouse, sleep upside down in bed, and end my day thinking about the time on the heath when I asked him with my eyes to ask again yes and then he asked me would I yes to say yes my mountain flower and first I put my arms around him yes and drew him down to me so he could feel my breasts all perfume yes and his heart was going like mad and yes I said yes I will Yes.